From The Seattle PI
By John Kelso

Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s touting of the wonders of small-town values in her acceptance speech reminded me of my ride in a red convertible a few weeks ago while serving as the grand marshal of the Bastrop Homecoming Parade .

I was chatting with my driver, a Bastrop businessperson who shall remain anonymous, about how reporters at this newspaper hadn’t been able to get in contact with defrocked Bastrop County Sheriff Richard Hernandez .

Hernandez had lost his sheriff’s job and done 90 days in jail for using county inmates and county resources to build and sell high-dollar barbecue pits to line his own pockets. But he was out of the joint, and he was about to open a barbecue joint in Elgin. That sounded to me like an ironic story worth chasing. But Hernandez wasn’t coming to the phone.

“I have his cellphone number,” my driver said.

When I called the sheriff, he sounded surprised that I had his number, which is surprising in itself. A small-town sheriff should know that small towns have no secrets. If you have a wart in a small town, people know where you picked up the frog. If you eat breakfast at the Chat ‘N Chew at 8 a.m., when you walk into the bank at 9, the teller’s going to ask you, “How’d you like them eggs?”

One of the small-town values Palin didn’t mention is that everybody knows your business. I know, because I grew up in a small town. Here are some other small-town values Palin didn’t specify.

In small towns, you don’t have to use your turn signals because everybody in town already knows where you’re going.

Read more Small-Town Values