A Guide To Campaign Mumbo-Jumbo

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 by RLR

From The Pgh Post Gazette
By Reg Henry

As a change of pace, my column today will adopt a more even-handed approach to the coming presidential election.

Instead of criticizing just one camp, I will try to spread the love around concerning the trademark candidacies of Republicans John McCain (”Yesterday’s Man for Tomorrow’s Problems”) and Sarah Palin (”A Moose in Every Pot”).

I will bring the same impartial scrutiny to the Democratic rivals Barack Obama (”The Audacity of Change You Can Believe in While I Think About It a Bit More”) and Joe Biden (”I Would Just Like to Observe That We Looked at This Issue in the Senate Judiciary Committee and So Forth and So On, Etc. and Etc.”)

Of course, there’s no fooling you readers about my self-interested preference in this election. Looking at it from the comedic point of view, I think those madcap mavericks McCain-Palin are the clear choice.

Why, there will be laughs aplenty when John McCain forgets where he put the keys to the nuclear weapons and Saint Sarah fills important government posts with her pals from Wasilla. The way I figure it, the American people will need my help to smile bravely through their tears after a Republican victory.

But rather than promote one ticket over the other, I believe the best thing I can do today is define the words, phrases and declarations that have melded into new meanings in the furnace of this political campaign.

Read more Mumbo-Jumbo

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