One of our readers has had enough of the “Intelligent” Design debate:

So the other day, I was having a conversation with an old childhood friend, I’ve
known him since I was three or so, who’s unfortunately veered off into conservativism.
More the libertarian, Ayn Rand style, not quite the religious side of things. A
friend of his joined us. Knowing I was working in the department of Ecology and
Evolutionary Biology, he asked me what I thought of the whole Intelligent Design
debate that’s currently raging.

“It’s intellectually, logically, and scientifically bankrupt,” I said
bluntly. “Teach it in Sunday School, because that’s where it belongs.”

The predictable debate started. His friend was a devout Christian, it transpired,
and very offended at my offhand dismissal of the “theory”. He put forth
a few predictable, tired attempts to challenge evolution, which I promptly shot
down in flames. It was getting tiring, so I just flipped into asshole mode and went
for the jugular.

“Look, Kevin. I hate to be blunt. But let’s face it: you were a business major.
You didn’t take a single biology class. I’ve taken fifteen. I’m getting my PhD in
microbial ecology. As far as I’m concerned, unless you’re within pissing distance
of the cutting edge of biological research, you’re totally unqualified to question
the theory of evolution.”

“So what, you scientists just get to tell us what to think? We don’t get to
make up our own minds about anything?” he blurted.

“Yes. Without an expert-level understanding of the subject, you have neither
the privelege nor the competence to weigh in with your opinion.”

“What?!? That’s…”

“Ok, define the following terms, right now and off the top of your head: clade,
microsatellite, taphonomy, 16s rDNA, intron. If you can’t do it, this conversation
is over.”

He couldn’t. But he knew what was coming.

“You wouldn’t walk up to a cosmologist and try to shoot down quantum theory,
or up to a lawyer and challenge his understanding of copyright law, so why are you
presuming to question evolution, which you understand as poorly as the first two?”

Predictably, it ended badly, and I felt kind of shitty about being such a prick.
Kevin went away thinking that scientists were just another example of the arrogant
liberal elite imposing their views, etc etc etc, and I felt like kind of an arrogant
elite asshole. But at the same time, yeah, it was fucking satisfying as hell. Because
I’m getting absolutely sick of it. This debate, nationally, needs to end, because
it’s primitive bullshit based in ignorance, misunderstanding, and religious insanity.

As someone who understands evolution as thoroughly as an artist does perspective
and color, I’m starting to become just radically intolerant of anyone who doesn’t
accept it. Denial of evolution, at this point, is as absurd, indefensible, and primitive
as denying the laws of thermodynamics or claiming the sun orbits the Earth. Anyone
who denies it doesn’t understand it, and their perspective is skewed by religious
dogma. And that’s just about it, really. There are literally reams of genetic, fossil,
morphological, geological, and chemical data that support the theory in its entirety.
To challenge evolution is to challenge that data- which is, to be blunt, not possible.

Now, to clarify, everybody doesn’t need to go out and get an advanced degree in
evolutionary biology. The general public does of course need to be well-informed
enough to understand the idea in general and some reasons why it’s correct. Within
the scientific community, there is absolutely zero debate about the validity of
evolution, and in most parts of the world, people respect science and its methods
enough to trust it and understand it. Notice how this debate is utterly nonexistent
in Europe and Asia?

And no, Intelligent Design is not an alternative theory, kids. It’s a religious
belief, the same atavistic bullshit religion has always hawked, dressed up to pay
lip service to pseudoscience. There is absolutely no reason, none at all, to invoke
a creator when explaining the state of the universe. Everything we see in nature
is just about as we’d expect from a very old and highly evolved system- complete
with the bizarre twists and wierdness you’d expect from a system that’s evolved
independent of direction. As I said above, if you wish to deny all available evidence
and believe in creation, you’re welcome to do so in the private confines of your
institution of worship. (Though I’ll still ruthlessly judge you to be a willful
ignoramus, and probably point and laugh.) As far as a science class goes, teach
the science.

I know my bad attitude towards creationists is to some degree counterproductive.
I know I should try to gently bring them around and educate them. But my attitude
at the moment is fuck ‘em. I’m sick and goddamned tired of the anti-intellectual,
reactionary, fundamentalist, brain-dead direction the American public is drifting
in. I’m sick of being all nicey-nice about my opposition to that trend. I’m sick
of having to fight the misconceptions and ignorance of a population that doesn’t
want to know better. I’m sick of having some fundy twit start working up a froth
whenever evolution, secularism, global warming, or any of their other hot button
issues come up.

And I’m not gonna take it anymore, goddamnit! Gah!